Sunday, March 10, 2013

Practicing Paleo Part IV

Step 4: Live Forever!
OK, so, not really.  But you already knew that.

**note: this post is gif-tastic.  Because I was really bored and wanted to jazz this last post up a bit :)

Catch up on PPP IIIPPP IIPPP I, and Paleo.

So you are eating great, feeling great, and looking great...welcome to the club!  You are now officially a Paleo-er :)

Now that you are one of us, there are a few things you should know about your new self.

1.  You now know everything.
Or at least you think you do.  This is not all its cracked up to be.  You will now find yourself in situations where good friends that you like and respect will say things like ,

"I needed to eat a healthy snack so I made a whole grain PB&J sandwich.  PB has loads of protein and the jelly is just fruit. Done."

You now find yourself in a precarious position between concern for your friends health and absolute dismay.

Try not to make this face ☟when people talk about their food.

And even though you now know everything, no one else cares.

At all.

 In fact, just keep your new status as "upgraded to genius" to yourself because people like not knowing that they are eating "Thunder Thighs - in a can".  Even if you have the best of intentions, just keep it to yourself.

2.  You can now talk about Paleo 24-7.
When I said keep your Paleo talk to yourself, I meant it.

Unless...someone asks you about it, then let loose, its their own fault for asking.

Just a few nights ago I was having a ladies night with my neighbors.
We were drinking.
I stuck with red wine of course  ...  until the red wine ran out and then I lost all self control  ...  its wasn't pretty ...  it was delicious .. and German ..  and barley and hops, but it wasn't paleo.  also I am a lightweight.

Anyway, the really sweet girl sitting next to me said something about Paleo.  Or at least it sounded like Paleo.

She probably said "What time is it?"

I heard "Tell me all about this Paleo thing".

She has a southern accent, I got confused.

She then had to endure a drunken Paleo According to Sara lecture for an excruciatingly long time while everyone else got to enjoy the normal conversations happening at the table.  Oddly enough, these past posts about Paleo probably took less time to read than I took explaining everything.  The poor thing ended the night with my blog address, the fear that I now have her cell number, and I'm sure a vehement abhorrence to Paleo.

And this look on her face ☟

But I couldn't help myself, this is who I am now.  I truly feel fantastic about this lifestyle and want everyone to have the same opportunities this lifestyle has allowed me.  Don't hide who you are, just try and show the crazy to those close to you, the one's who are already invested in your friendship and will most likely forgive your genius rants.

3.  You are now better than everyone else.
Or at least you think you are.  Don't believe me?  Just wait, before you know it you will be out with friends and everyone will be swooning over some sweet concoction that Teresa made from a brownies box mix, raw cookie dough, and oreos.

While everyone is going in for seconds and thirds, 
this will be how you are feeling  ☟

It doesn't happen over night, but it will happen to you too.

I cant tell you how many times I have said "I don't eat this crap" when offered a sample and unintentionally insulting everyone in the process.

It will happen.

4.  You WILL cheat.
This is not even a question, you will cheat.  I am 32 years old and I have never even entertained the idea that I will never taste a grain or processed sugar again.  But I can be absolutely sure that I will never again prepare a meal for my family again that consists of me boiling a box of noodles, topped with a freshly opened jar of processed marinara sauce, with freshly baked frozen garlic bread on the side.  And that is something I would have absolutely prepared 3 years ago.

Every day that I set standards for my kids of what is healthy is only going to help them in the future.  My family is worth the extra effort of packing snacks when we will be out all day, going to extra stores during the week to prep all the food we will eat, packing healthy lunches for my daughter everyday instead of just paying for cold pizza or barely-qualifies-as-chicken nuggets, and spending extra $ on grass fed beef and organic eggs.  Its not even a question.

BUT I do want my kids to have a regular childhood.
They eat the cake and chips at birthday parties.
We order a pizza on nights when we just really want a treat.
I bake chocolate chip cookies every once in a while because my family likes them.
We even go to the golden arches when daddy is out of town and mommy wants to sit on the couch and watch movies with the girls with grease on her fingers.

We cheat.

And it feels good.

I cant let the occasional cheats be seen as a weakness or something I should be ashamed of, I see them as treats.

And its OK because being happy is being Paleo 80% of the time.

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