Monday, June 14, 2010

Why I hate Modern Warfare 2

Hate? Really you ask, is Hate the appropriate word.

The answer is a resounding YES. I realize that hate is a strong word, no one should ever have to use the word hate. Well I did and I do!

Let me first preface this by stating that I am not one of those wives who hates video games. I really don't. Though I have zero interest in playing them myself, I never mind when hubsters plays. It is how he chooses to let off some steam after a long day and I don't mind. He can play video games as often as he wants, and he usually wants quite often. But there are lots of things I like to do that don't involve him, like reading or nosing around on the computer, or there is always stalking people on Facebook or messing with the wonderful world of blogging, and he just isn't in to any of that. Video games are his outlet, his relaxing take-my-mind-off-things task.

So how is this game so different? How does this game take me from "I don't care if you play video games" to "I might pull my own hair out if I have to listen to that game for 2 more seconds"? Well, lucky for you I have compiled a little list...

First I need to explain what Modern Warfare 2 is... its a video game. It must be about war because it is loud, guns are firing, there is lots of yelling, whatever you get the point = a loud waste of time. On with the hate list!

1. Apparently this game must never be played without the volume level set at deafening.

2. When asked nicely to turn the volume down to "a level that wont leave the neighbors to wonder if there is an actual war going on in our home", the response is along the lines of "I can turn it down a click but really this gaming experience can not be fully enjoyed at a volume less than this".

3. Along with the sounds of gunfire, war, airplanes, bombs and killing there is also all the commentary of the fellow players. Some of whom have altered their microphones so they sound like annoying chipmunks screaming lines like "KILL HIM" or "DONT KILL ME".

4. Those annoying chipmunks usually never just scream the afore mentioned lines, in actuality they spew streams of profanity about others players mothers or sisters. Really valuable vocabulary lessons for my 3 years old daughter who is currently perfecting the art of repeating everything she hears.

5. Apparently Sam is not very good at this game. Or at least I cant imagine he could be when all I have to judge this on is every 2 minutes he throws the remote in frustration over being killed.

6. Sam doesn't just throw the remote, he usually punches the couch or yells at the TV "I KILLED YOU FIRST". Then after seeing that his beautiful girls have been distracted from their world of rainbows and butterflies and are looking at him, forces a smile and says "Daddy is terrible at this game and I hate it! But I love you". (End forced smile)

7. Sam HATES this game but LOVES this game. Please don't ask me to explain, there is a relationship between man and game that I don't think I will ever understand.

8. There is a whole world dedicated to this game. You are either a player or not and anyone who is not is automatically considered the enemy. Heaven forbid you should actually refer to the game as Call of Duty 2 (which by the way is what is says on the box) because it is MODERN WARFARE 2.

9. There is a whole boring back story to explain the correct title MW2 vs COD2. It is boring and I tuned out half way through, I am convinced it is all a twisted plot to weed out the true players from the enemy.. who must be destroyed.

And number 10! (cue drumroll please)

This game has taken over the television in my house! My husband is beyond addicted and when he gets a spare moment I can guarantee it will be on.

Example: Its a typical Saturday morning. The family has plans to run to the farmers market and maybe the playground so the kiddos can burn off some energy. Mom dresses herself, dresses the girls, finds shoes, changes a diaper, packs some snacks while Dad is getting dressed. Dad exits the bedroom ready to leave. Mom announces she needs to get different shoes from the closet and will be right back. No more than 20 second later she returns to find him completely immersed in a game while child number 2 has taken off her shoes and child number 1 is pulling her bow out of her hair while they fight over the snacks they have pulled from Mom's purse.

: What are you doing playing? We are ready to leave!
Dad: You weren't ready so I am playing a game until you are.
Mom: I am ready, lets go.
Dad: Ok, this game will be over in 5 minutes.

Flash to Mom seething in a corner while she attempts to corral the girls, put shoes back on, wrestle the snacks away and redo child number 1's hair.

Dad finishes the game 12 minutes later and they all walk towards the car.

Mom secretly realizes she has to pee... decides to hold it forever if she has to.

End scene

And that is why HATE is the only appropriate word for MW2.

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